176th entry. i skipped my 175th cuz that was placed as draft. Reason, i couldn't get myself to carry on in that entry as tears flow down and got myself emotional when i talk about everything that happen for the past one month especially the last camp i went to.

I have lots to say but no one i wan to go to. I can laugh, smile and even make a fool out of myself to make other laugh but deep inside me, i know, something is still not right. Something is still short of. i must admit, i am envy with something or infact jealous about something. But everynight, i can also make myself sleep with white lies to make myself feel good.

God, would u make my life more easy?